I was so afraid of Judgement Day when I was a child. I was afraid of going to sleep before I repented of all my sins. I was afraid of dying suddenly, because what if I couldn't confess my sin before I kicked the can? Ultimately, I was afraid of God looking closely at my heart, because I believed that I was unworthy of His love. I believed that He only loved me because He had to; that I was unlovely and unworthy.
It took many years of searching and depression before I discovered that I had believed a lie. I didn't need to fear Judgement Day because Jesus' righteousness had become my own. I was not going to be punished. Even more importantly, He thinks I'm lovely, and worthy, interesting, funny. He's pretty infatuated with me. ;) How do I know that? Because we can't love God. God is love. So if we are in love with God, it's because He was in love with us first. :D
Fear is the antithesis of love. Fear of vulnerability ruins relationships, or just prevents them from becoming all they were meant to be. Relationships are gifts from God, meant to express something about Him. We make everything about gender or sex. Relationships express Who He is. Fathers, Mothers, Sisters, Brothers, Friends, Husbands, Wives. Each shows us a glimpse of Him.
Love is not a passing fancy. Infatuation is largely hormonal. Love is abiding, eternal, deep, passionate, nurturing, sacrificial. The more I see and experience of His love, the more I am able to love Him and love others. My ability stems from His outpouring. Love made perfect in me.
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