Friday, December 19, 2014

Measure and extravagance

The patriarch of my family was my grandfather. I adored him, despite his stingy heart. When some of us think of misers, we picture Scrooge Macduff, sitting on his pile of money. Misers may have tons of money in their mattress, but their poverty comes from their heart. And it is devastating.

I married the most generous man I know. He's like Santa. Always generous, always giving. When he stays tapped into the love of His Father, the richness of his heart can be outright ludicrous. :)

This challenges me because my generosity is measured. It is weighed. My grandfather rears his hoary head in my soul and evaluates what has been given, and received. Everything must be equal.

Over the years my soul is challenged again and again, and it is becoming more frequent. People give to me more than I can repay. They give me their talent, their time, their money. I CANNOT REPAY IT. It drives me bonkers. I'm afraid they are like my grandfather, waiting for repayment. My guilt can be crippling.

We just moved to a tiny town in Oklahoma. After feeling claustrophobic in a highly residential neighborhood in Connecticut, we are reveling in the big skies, quiet farmland and smiling people. What we did not expect were neighbors. Each lives a quarter to half mile away, and still they 'popped by' the first week we were here. They give us space, but they wave every time they drive by. I congratulated myself by busting out cinnamon rolls and taking them over last night to say Merry Christmas.

I really think God gets amused by my giving.

Just now one couple dropped by with Christmas goodies. And not just goodies, overflowing Christmas bags of presents for the kids. I was blown away. With our recent move our finances have been tighter than we'd like at this time of year. My Santa husband is struggling, but my more measured generosity sees it as a chance to teach character. LOL!!!!

God is such a good Papa. And He is anything but measured. God is lavish. He is abundant. He doesn't weigh what He has or what has been given. He gives ALL.

He gave all He had because of how much He loves us. He gave Himself. I love my grandfather dearly, but I want to look like my Papa. Extravagant.