The sad part of this is that I have been avoided. In the past and even now. I have been too broken. I've needed more than others, even those in pastoral leadership can give. They can't fix me.
Like attracts like. We like to be around people of the same level of brokenness as ourselves. That way, at least we can give to each other and it never really costs us more than we have. Even if we choose to minister to others, we do not choose to be in relationship with them.
And that's the saddest part.
Only in relationship can we become truly healthy. Jesus is absolutely the answer. Relationship with Him, but God actually created us to meet Him also through relationship with others.
The thing that is the hardest to see is that we are all broken. We look on the outside, and judge. We judge the poor, the fat, the socially inept. And then it switches; the judged judge the rich, the skinny, the socially popular. We can't see how much we need Jesus because we are too busy trying to make ourselves look better than the next guy.
Jesus spent a huge amount of time with His Father, and then surrounded Himself with people that couldn't give back. I think one of the reasons the Church is powerless is because we aren't doing exactly that. Why should God fill us up if we won't pour ourselves out.
I want to cry as I write this because I see my own stingy heart. I don't want to fill my own child's sippee cup a third time. How can I pour myself out? I have nothing to give.
What if we all could realize that?
Powerful, Jess!
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