Positioned for Love

I'm reading a book entitled Jesus on Leadership by C Gene Wilkes. The author focuses on the character of Jesus as the blueprint on being a great leader; humility, servanthood, following and so forth. When he starts confronting desire for position and posits that we learn to follow God and please Him, something occurred to me. Why does anyone desire position?

I'm convinced that the things we desire most in life are simply proxies. Proxy is defined as the agency, function, or office of a deputy who acts as a substitute for another. It is something we authorize to fill a need that originally was meant to be met by something else.

God created us to desire. He created us to need or want based on what we were created for, and we were created to be Sons and to look like God. We were created for relationship.

I think most of us desire position because we believe that position offers identity, affirmation, purpose and power. Position in itself can't give those things, at least not in a healthy way. The fruit of that is only domination and striving. It's a pretty well kept secret that God can offer identity, affirmation, purpose and power without one having position. No, I'm wrong, It's a different position. It's the position of being a Much Loved Child. There's no better place to be.

If we lived life focused entirely on that, on loving and being loved by our Father, the Body would look a bit different. I would look different. It doesn't matter where I stand, just the fact that I am His favorite is enough. Favor is good. Even Jesus grew in favor with God and man. Notice God came first. And that's the position I want to be most.

In The Eye

I woke this morning to hearing my kids downstairs dancing to Delirious. It sounded like a herd of water buffalo. I think they are getting cabin fever; I can't wait to exhaust them at Tarrywile. So now I hide in my room while they dance this afternoon...if my music is loud enough I can't hear them. ;)

I'm really struggling to find real quality time with Jesus. It's not just that I have three inescapable children, it's more that I'm not sure how to anymore. Read some scripture, listen to worship, pray. Those are a given, but they aren't cutting it right now. I want real conversation.

So I'm going to practice stillness. It will be hard. Just being...and learning Him and myself.

Mischief Managed

Ephesians 4:11 And Christ gave gifts to people -- he made some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to go and tell the Good News, and some to have the work of caring for and teaching God's people. 12 Christ gave those gifts to prepare God's holy people for the work of serving, to make the body of Christ stronger. 13 This work must continue until we are all joined together in the same faith and in the same knowledge of the Son of God. We must become like a mature person, growing until we become like Christ and have his perfection.

Jesus, the Chief Shepherd, is the perfect picture of Church leadership. I always thought that the  shepherd described the pastor, but after thinking about it today I realized I was wrong. That's just the normal assumption. 

A shepherd fulfills many roles. He protects. He guides. He confronts and disciplines. He oversees the flock. He plans for its' growth. He looks at the individual and also at the whole. He plans new paths for foraging and fresh water. He watches for attackers and fights when they attack. 

When I look at the passage in Ephesians 4, Paul is saying that Christ gives gifts to His Church. It's not the same as the gifts given by the Holy Spirit. What Jesus is giving is offices. He is creating Church governance, with the intention of developing the Body into a powerful and mature Bride. 

Throughout the couple thousand years of church history, most denominations have come away with only three offices; pastors and teachers and evangelists. Most church bodies will only accept direction when it comes with a pastoral or teaching flavor. Many denominations reject the prophetic or apostolic because they surmise that the gifts have passed away. For some reason they don't reject pastoring or teaching...maybe those two are the ones that are the least 'spooky'? And evangelists are usually only tolerated, because who can argue that we need more conversions? :D

I see all five gifts in Jesus, the Chief Shepherd. If we aren't using every gift that He's given us, no wonder the Bride still isn't ready. As a result of missing out on all He's given us, the Body is being managed instead of grown. 

So what does a healthy, Spirit filled Church look like? We look like Jesus. He was kind and compassionate, insightful and graced with wisdom, forceful and raging, strong and peaceful. I can't wait to see all He has for us, and I pray that we can look exactly like Him to the world. "Until We become like Christ and have His perfection". 

Perfect Theology

I took Systematic Theology from Regent University a few years ago. I was excited to write my paper for it; I always got great grades for writing and I was looking forward to impressing this particular professor. I can't for the life of me remember what I wrote about, but I remember my grade and his remarks on the paper.

'Too devotional in nature.'

Granted, I was marked down half a letter grade because I forgot to use the required NAS translation; I used my own NKJ study Bible instead for references. I remember feeling particularly horrified at my bad grade (C) because I still remember the intent of my paper, if not the subject.

Normally I make an argument, opposing argument and then my conclusion. I've even argued against my own opinion because I had the most source material for that side. I always got great grades on those, so I assumed that I was just a great writer and could get away with anything, especially if my intent was spiritual. This time I chose to offer different perspectives and then pull it all around to examine the heart. Bring it back to Jesus. Basically throw out the academics and bring it face to face with the spirit. That was my goal,  but perhaps I really didn't write it well, because my professor was not impressed. At all.

Webster defines theology as: the study of religious faith, practice, and experience; especially : the study of God and of God's relation to the world. Break it down into Latin; God, study of. Pretty simple. The study of Who God is and His relationship to us. In my naivete I always felt that while theology could be coalesced into precise philosophies, it was not possible to escape God while studying Him. After all, that's how C.S.Lewis met God; He studied about God in order to disprove Him and ended up meeting Him.

I did know that you could separate them, but why would anyone want to? To my disappointment I found out that it is really hard to take everything you learn in seminary and apply it to my growth in relationship with Jesus. A lot of it is just a bunch of academia. Nothing wrong with that. I was just hoping for more. I was hoping to encounter the One I studied.

I know most people understand theology as a subject, like physics. But I propose that the only way you can really study theology is to meet the One Who is perfect theology. Jesus said if you look at Him, you see the Father. We are always looking for practical application. For this we have Jesus. We want to know what He looks like. For this we have Jesus. And scripture tells us the only way we can really SEE Him is by the Holy Spirit. The only way to study is to encounter. Revelation simply means to reveal. The Holy Spirit reveals Jesus, and Jesus reveals the Father. He reveals perfect theology.

Double Dip of Grace

I have always had a foot shaped mouth. While I have a really hard time talking about how I feel, it's easy for me to talk about what I'm thinking. If you've ever asked me a question and I have an easy answer, it's because I've spent hours and hours thinking about it already. I really do have a library and a laboratory in my head.

I also don't always pick up on others' cues. If I've thought about it a great deal, I'm ready to jump in and discuss. Truth and understanding are so important to me that I walk around my own discomfort and insecurity just to get to a better grasp of it. So yeah...others' cues. I've managed to step on many toes.

Since I'm not great at understanding my feelings, I choose doormat status often. Ever the pragmatist, the truth is more important than my soft squishy center. Here's the thing...I really abhor offense. I tell myself often...slow to offense. Slow.

I don't get offended often. But I offend accidentally with high regularity. I'm always apologizing for overstepping. But here's the thing. I'm pissed.

I'm mad that others' didn't give me the grace I give them constantly. I'm angry that they didn't think more highly of me. I'm upset that they assumed the worst and devalued my character. I'm even more incensed that they didn't use the opportunity to pursue relationship. I'm offended that they are offended.

For years I called it hurt. It didn't feel like anger. It felt like pain. However, hurt and offense can be two sides of the same coin. They walk hand in hand with pride and insecurity. Once again, like Aslan tells Lucy, it is about my story.

Can I love without reservation. Can I forgive without resentment. Can I apologize without feeling violated?
As Danny Silk says, it's about getting my love on. And goodness, am I not even there yet.