Freaky deaky

Our church has been talking for some time about a supposed, hoped-for move of God. Being in New England, I don't know of many other places in America more starved for His touch. I've watched the gradual process of awareness in our church members; at one time they responded to a term like 'presence of God' with a combination of confusion, uncertainty and revulsion. Now they accept the possibility with an air of timid excitement. I have to say, it has been fun to watch. Frustrating, but worth it.

Occasionally out of nowhere certain things pop up in conversation, and I find it absolutely hilarious and disconcerting at the same time. Our Body consists of mostly Christians with a very conservative background, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised at their feelings. I'm more surprised that they don't let their feelings lead them somewhere. Instead they sit on them like some kind of stubborn claim to something seemingly theologically obvious, but if they'd just think a bit, they might realize that they know almost as much as I do, which is almost nothing.

With talk that mentions 'Move of God' and 'Presence of God', lots of my fellow church members seem to have almost allergic reactions to the possibilities that come with those concepts. They think they are not Charismatic, but they don't seem to understand that the teaching coming from the pulpit for the past couple years has been balanced, scriptural...but also charismatic. They think charismatic/pentecostal movements come with other things...

They list with distaste the trembling, shaking, overall loss of bodily control that is supposed to be a marker of charismatic renewal. If they see this happen, they say, they're leaving.

I think this is especially silly because most of them have never seen this before; they've formed their opinion through hearsay. Somehow they've made up their mind that when God really moves, He only moves a certain way, and anything else is human manufacturing. Maybe they think when God shows up, we're going to have a nice sedate intellectual conversation, after which we go out into the world and meet the needs of the less fortunate.

I just listen and try to be understanding while asking questions to hopefully prompt further process. In the meantime I'm thinking...Who do they think God is? And What He is like? He created us to be beings like Him, but in a physical form. We are intellectual because He is. We are emotional because He is. Our inner core is spirit, because He is. We are physical because He created us that way...not because we are supposed to hate it, we are supposed to like it...because He loves it. He loves our physical bodies. God only creates good things.

We are filled with His spirit, but there are moments that He wants to get into our space. He did this constantly through scripture. If you look at Jesus, you can see it. Jesus had intellectual conversation. He quoted scripture. He prophesied. He named and called out identity. He made wine for drunk people. He put spit into people's eyes. He was constantly touching people. He liked intimate contact. He allowed John to rest his head on His chest. And everything He did, He revealed the Father because He and the Father are one.

I have been in charismatic churches and I have seen many things. I have seen people touched by God, and I have seen people acting silly and insane. I know that some of it is real, and some of it is fake. But the fake is not enough to keep me away.

I am not satisfied with Christianity if it is to just be an intellectual understanding. How does that prove to me that it's real? I'm free to pick any religion I want...why choose one like Christianity? Why not Buddhism? Or Wicca? Deciding to believe something that sounds good is not enough.

When God moves, I want Him to touch all of me. If I'm going to make an ass of myself telling people about Jesus, I need to know that I know.

Here is something that may sound heretical; Jesus saving me from sin and hell isn't enough either. I need to hear Him call my name...the one that only He and I will know. (Rev 2:17) I want to know Him as He is; all power and passion, wisdom and awareness, creativity and beauty. I imagine that when I start to see that, I will act a bit stupid. And that's ok with me.