Right and Wrong

No matter how we try to spin it or avoid it, we all have a deep innate need to decipher right from wrong. For myself, I see right and wrong coming from three sources; what God says is right and wrong, what society says is right and wrong, and what I think is right and wrong. This seems entirely harmless until we also recognize that we like to reward 'good', and punish 'bad'. This is the core of why disagreements can be a big deal; we are trying to reward or punish based on different sets of values.

Even within these sources of proposed morality is even greater divides; what I think about how society should be ordered is almost guaranteed to be different from yours. What I think about God, even if we both agree He exists, can differ from yours. Just try to compare the doctrine of Calvin and Wesley, two very passionate men of God, and you'll see how disparate their experience and thoughts are.

So what does this all mean if it means anything at all? Well, we all want to know who is right, and I hope it's me. ;) That is, we all hope it's ourselves. For those of us that believe that God exists, we know we will find out eventually...and that can be an exciting prospect. (or terrifying) For those that think that God doesn't exist, well who cares who is right or wrong? Your chosen morality only affects your current experience.

I have a pretty high justice value. Which means my need to reward or punish is very intense. I've been trying to pull myself back from that because in the process of experiencing how our morality butts heads, I lose my peace. I get upset. So, I'm in the middle of learning how to express myself and not lose my peace when someone else loses theirs. ;) Dang it's hard! 

Steps to not lose it:

1. Realize that I can only control myself. If I get offended it's because I chose to, not because someone made me. I have power over myself, and I'm not conceding it to another.

2. I can't control other people. I can try to be sensitive, but at some point or another I will offend. It's inevitable. Again, I can only control my response.

3. I don't know everything. Someone may have a perspective or more knowledge or wisdom than I do. Honor dictates that I respect everyone, because I believe that we are all made in the image of God.

4. My experience dictates that there is something greater than all of this. 

A good friend told me this today; "When you find people not accepting you, God is happy to have you to Himself." I don't always have it right, and that's really not important anyway. I am loved, and it's my privilege to be a much-loved child. God originally wanted to give us Life, and we chose knowledge of good and evil. It's a fight that never ends, because we can never find the answer within ourselves.  The answer starts with Death, and ends with Life. 

“It means,” said Aslan, “that though the Witch knew the Deep Magic, there is a magic deeper still which she did not know. Her knowledge goes back only to the dawn of time. But if she could have looked a little further back, into the stillness and the darkness before Time dawned, she would have read there a different incantation. She would have known that when a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor’s stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backward."

The Little Cross

Nothing reminds me more of my shortcomings than motherhood. Three children with three disparate personalities and three sets of needs, all of which I can't begin to fill. Surprisingly, or perhaps not surprisingly depending on who you are, I find it easy to excuse myself.

I'm tired. I didn't have my needs met when I was a kid. I lived in poverty. The list is never ending. Whatever they need in order to become fantastic, whole adults...I don't have it. But, they really need it.

Many of us have heard our parents make excuses too, and this is usually what keeps me from going down that path. Their excuses served us not at all.

I think, for the most part, that people have an intense dislike for responsibility. No, make that a stark fear. We are breathtakingly afraid of seeing where we fall short, afraid that to carry it would break us. Few want to turn their easy judgement of others selfward. In the end, we run away. To find a fig leaf. Like an excuse will make it all ok.

But it doesn't, and it can't. And that's the whole point. My personal history is real and valid, and is much of the reason my cup is too empty to pour out. But my spiritual poverty just makes me more vividly aware of my need for Him.

For most believers, the theology of the Cross is simply thus; Jesus died and took the punishment for all our sin.

This is true; but to leave it at that is to make the enormity of the Cross into something small. If the propitiation of the world's sin could be seen as small.

Jesus died for way more than covering our asses so we can get into Heaven. He was fully God, fully man, lived and died and rose again to place us back where we were at the beginning; man and woman as Sons and Daughters of God. Poised to take over the entire Earth, to regain our lost ground and to become a Bride without spot or wrinkle.

If I simply use Jesus' sacrifice to keep my nose clean, that's like only requiring my kids to just keep their room clean for the rest of their lives. The work of the Cross, of suffering for Him, of resisting the onslaught of the Enemy...these things project us into maturity. We are supposed to be taking ground, not just holding onto our little plot of soil.

Our responsibility isn't to carry our failure; our responsibility lies in being willing to see it and then saying 'yes'.

I can't do it Jesus. I'm weak. But I want You more than anything, and I want Your dreams to be fulfilled for me more than I want my own comfort.

This is what I know: He loves me, He loves me, He loves me, He loves me, He loves me. Because that is Who He is.