More for me, More for you

I think it is a poverty mentality that tells me that the pie is a limited one. If you take a slice, there is less for me. Or if you have a whole pie, that means I don't get one at all.

Perhaps wanting the best for others comes naturally for some, and I thought I did it naturally too. Till recently when I saw that I was just thinking the right thoughts but my heart wasn't in it. That's how I could say the right things, but the same yucky feelings would pop up and I'd squash them. Feelings are sometimes like termites; the correct structure can be in place but the beams are hollow.

Wanting the best for others, their dreams to come true, their children to be brilliant, for multi generational wealth doesn't seem like it should cost me anything. But it does. It feels like dying.

I thought...God wants the best for all of us, but it doesn't cost Him anything. Oh. Wait. It did.

I can't want the best for others without it costing me something, because my pie is limited. I have to die, give Him my pie, and He gives me His. Unlimited pie. Delicious pie. Pie A La Mode. :)

It still feels like I'm dying, but that's ok. I heard a wise guy say that jealousy just means that we don't trust God to love on us and bless us. While I'm hoping and praying for abundance for others, I'm going to press in to His heart and learn to trust. My trusting is a bit spotty, so learning should be fun. Kind of like breathing water. :)